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| The interior of The Facility, circa 1862 |
To commemorate its 150 year anniversary of ground-breaking scientific research, The Facility announced today that they will begin to release some of their findings to the public. The announcement comes amid growing concerns involving predictions of the end of civilization as we know it on Earth when the Mayan Calendar inexplicably runs out of days in late December of 2012.
"Rather than upsetting the population with some of our more unsavory findings regarding the Mayan Calendar's end as it pertains to this particular dimension, we thought it might be amusing to reveal some of the light-hearted variations of reality we have found in the parallel worlds of the Multiverse which surrounds us," says Dr. Quentin Bloor, director of The Facility.
As an example, Bloor points to what researchers at The Facility call "Terra Variation 11c" (or TV11c), just one of many alternate versions of Earth where the following differences have been noted:
• Here, the President of the United States is Barack Obama, while on TV11c, the Commander-in-Chief is Paul Reubens, better known as Pee-wee Herman. Previous Presidents include: Red Skelton, Dick Van Dyke, and perhaps most strangely, John Elway, former quarterback for the Denver Broncos football team.
• In our dimension, the post of Surgeon General is held by Regina Benjamin. On TV11c, the position is rocking hard with Ozzy Osbourne at the helm.
• Here, Leon Panetta is the current Secretary of Defense. On TV11c there is no Secretary of Defense, as under the current administration the Department of Defense has been phased out by the Department of It's All Cool (DAC), occasionally administrated by Peter Fonda.
Researchers at The Facility note that similar strangely positive changes in the power structure have been recorded across the planet in this particular dimension.
"Interestingly enough, on Terra Variation 11c, war, crime, hunger, and poverty are virtually non-existent," says Bloor. "We can't be certain, because so many factors are at play, but we suspect that it is because rather than nations spending billions of dollars on defense, the money is instead channeled into feeding, clothing, housing, and educating the people of the world."
Researchers at The Facility note that similar strangely positive changes in the power structure have been recorded across the planet in this particular dimension.
"Interestingly enough, on Terra Variation 11c, war, crime, hunger, and poverty are virtually non-existent," says Bloor. "We can't be certain, because so many factors are at play, but we suspect that it is because rather than nations spending billions of dollars on defense, the money is instead channeled into feeding, clothing, housing, and educating the people of the world."
The Facility is expected to release more of its unusual findings from parallel/alternate dimensions in the coming months, as well as updates on developments in the countdown to December 22, 2012.
