We'll be the first to admit we have absolutely no clue what these are, or even where they came from. We certainly didn't order them, but they showed up on our loading dock last week in several unmarked crates, so we decided to take a leap of faith and offer them here in the hopes that our loyal customers will help us clear them out of our storerooms.
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| We feel pretty darn good about these |
Although the initial reaction to these clusters of unidentifiable globules is one of revulsion, we've found that after handling them for awhile they begin to produce strangely pleasant nurturing sensations and a feeling of well-being! In fact, we felt so good about these mesmerizing spheroids that we realized sending them to The Facility for safety-testing would be a waste of time for the already overworked scientists at our parent company.
Don't wait a moment longer to order yours though, as many of our employees are already scurrying away as fast as their bipedal transport mechanisms will carry them with armloads of these oddly-compelling decorative orbs (no doubt to be given as unique gifts to their own family and friends) and supplies are dwindling!
We're so sure you'll also soon be equally entranced, that we're practically giving them away this holiday season! Truth be told, we are giving them away by including not one, but two, of these enigmatic lumpy spheres with every order that leaves our warehouse . . . ABSOLUTELY FREE (while supplies last)! In return, all we ask is that once they're in your possession you display them prominently in your home so that all may enjoy their tranquil aura.
In the very likely event that you'll want even more, we're willing to part with them for the extra-special Holiday price of just $1.99 each!
Order several today, and do your part to start spreading as much Joy to the World as humanly possible!
Festive Mystery Balls
Catalog #1011001100111
$1.99
(Prolonged exposure may produce tingling of the extremities, visions, skull-numbness, pineal gland stimulation, mild xenophobia, and temporary sensations of telepathic communication with outside entities. This is normal, and not a cause for alarm.)
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A Proud Partner with Random Musings in the
"Holiday Decor and Gift-Giving Blog-o-Palooza!"
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