Santa: Fully Loaded

 A Proud Partner with Random Musings in the

"Holiday Decor and Gift-Giving Blog-o-Palooza!"

Let him in. He's got the good stuff!

Out on your lawn arises a clatter, so you race to the front door to see what's the matter. You fling it wide open, prepared for the worst, and what to your wondering eyes should appear? Why, it's Jolly Old St. Nick himself! And from his swaying stance and unfocused expression, you can tell in a moment he's soused to the gills!

Here at Happy Home Products, we're sure everyone in your household will be intoxicated with seasonal joy when you invite this 14-inch tall replica of the whimsically whacked Merry Man in Red to take up residence on your favorite bookshelf or coffee table! Just don't place him too close to the fireplace, or where ambient temperatures may exceed 89 degrees Fahrenheit, as when heated some of the materials used in the production of these meticulously-crafted statuettes may release mildly-carcinogenic fumes.

You'll laugh 'til your belly shakes like a bowlful of jelly as your entire family gathers 'round to take turns imagining what lavish gifts the inebriated elf might be persuaded to bestow upon them in his besotted condition! Don't try to turn it into a Yuletide intervention though, or Santa might push up his fur-lined sleeves and decide, with a twinkle in his eye, that he wants to fight Grandpa Joe!

We're not sure which eye
to look into either!

But speaking of fighting, don't be left pummeling yourself with remorse when you discover that this fanciful figure of holiday over-indulgence has been sold out!

Order yours today, and avoid another crushing reminder of your inadequacy as a consumer of overseas imports this season!

Only $112, while supplies last!

(Please add $40 for mandatory leakproof shipping container)