Good Lord They're Everywhere!

NEW FROM THE "HAPPY HOME PRODUCTS" CATALOG:

You wish you could look away. But you cannot.

This holiday season, why not add a disquieting touch of festive whimsy to your household by adorning every available flat surface therein with swarms of sweetly slumbering infants nestled in the dismembered wings of doves?

Carefully molded of durable plastic resin in cheerful faraway factories, and hand-detailed with presumably non-toxic paint by young artists who love their jobs so much they're willing to work for pennies a day, these delightful ornaments are sure to make you smile uncontrollably for hours on end!

These 4-inch wide sculptures are now available in economical packages of 12, so you'll be able to ensure that everyone who visits your home during the holidays will be merrily dashing toward your liquor cabinet when they glance around and see at least one of these downy bundles of joy everywhere they look. And who would blame them? Certainly not us! We've found that a healthy dose of distilled spirits is the surest way to keep ourselves from becoming completely unhinged by glad tidings, and to make any questions about what became of the birds who surrendered their wings to make these feathery infant-receptacles seem somehow less important.

Hurry and order yours today, before our supply is cut off by well-meaning but misguided crusaders for child labor laws!
Only $12.95 each.
SPECIAL VALUE! GET A BUNDLE OF 12 FOR JUST $120!

 A Proud Partner with Random Musings in the

"Holiday Decor and Gift-Giving Blog-o-Palooza!"