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| Eye Floaties. This is what mine look like |
For a number of years now I've been troubled by an eye condition known as "myodesopsia," or what is more commonly referred to as seeing "Eye Floaties." If you have this, then you know what I'm talking about: Little blobs or squiggly strings that swim across your field of vision like a cloud of gnats, especially when looking at something like a bright sky or a computer screen. No matter how hard you blink or rub your eyes they're still there.
Mine have been so maddening at times that I've seriously considered thumbing out my own eyeballs just to make the damned spots and specks and squiggles go away.
If you don't have this condition, there are no words to adequately describe how crazy-making it is. If you are an Eye-Floaty Sufferer, then you know exactly what I'm talking about, and we can commiserate safely.
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| Reconfiguring the Floaties |
If you have this condition odds are that, like me, you've spent a fair amount of time Googling key-phrases such as "eye floaties cure," "get rid of eye floaties," and "God kill me now." I'm guessing you've found the same answers as I have. Sorry.
Apparently there is no real "cure" unless you're willing to submit to expensive treatments that may, or may not, actually work, and which may, or may not, be what some mainstream Opthomologists consider "safe." In other words, "Yeah, you could try this and it might work. On the other hand, your eyeballs could collapse and stream down your cheeks like runny eggs, plunging you into permanent darkness."
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| Adding Technical Embellishments |
That's the bad news.
The good news is that I've figured out a way to make this condition, if not more livable, at least more entertaining. It takes a bit of extra mental focus, but I think the results are worth the effort.
The idea came to me one afternoon while driving down the road minding my own business, and trying not to think about the fact that my lunch hour was over and I had to go back to work in the Seventh Circle.
A car had been riding my tail a little more closely than I liked, then passed me and immediately slowed down, so suddenly I was in the position of tailgating them. I hate that.
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| Target locked on |
As I glared in silent rage at the car, the driver of which was now tapping his brakes like he was approaching a dangerous curve, I noticed that I was seeing a particularly egregious eye floaty superimposed over the vehicle's rear window. I immediately thought, "Hey, it's like my own personal Head's Up Display Targeting System!" I concentrated. With careful eye movements, I found that I could place the floaty anywhere I wanted on the offending vehicle.
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| See you in Hell, mister |
With a little effort and imagination, I began to reconfigure the shape of the floaty: first visualizing it splitting into two separate components, then bringing those shapes together to form a circle with a plus-sign in the middle. "Okay. Now we're getting somewhere," I thought. The addition of a few more technical details brought the HUD into full functionality.
Now to take care of the vehicle in front of me . . . .
Hold it. Hold it. Acquiring target. Target locked on. Arming missle. Fire. Target destroyed. Lane clear. I am now free to proceed.
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| You wanted to see me, boss? |
Thinking about it now, it seems to me there can be endless applications for this exercise in creative visualization . . . .
